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Five Wishes

August 17, 2012


Erin Schrader

1. I wish I was better at telling jokes. You know those people who say “Oh I have this great joke…” and then they begin and it goes something like “Uhhh..Crap. How did that start? Wait. I know this one. Oh wait..no I don’t. But I swear it was funny when I heard it….” Well that’s me. I suck at jokes. End of story.
My three year old nephew however is on top of his joke telling game. He taught me this one tonight when I politely asked him to give me some material for my blog post: 

Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? 
Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who?   
Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? 
Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? 
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

2. I wish I was better at sending cards to people. Thank you’s, hellos, miss yous, etc…
I have never been good at this. But I am trying. Trying in the sense that I have now written “send thank yous” in my planner. And that’s as far as it’s gotten. That’s a lie. I now have cards to actually send…which happen to be cuter than crap. 

Told you.
So now that I have no excuse I should probably get on it. Probably not though.
Oh hey wait, you want some of those for yourself now do you? Can’t say I blame ya.
Enter code “livinginyellow” and get 20% off your order.
I will expect to see my thank you card in the mail for that one.

3. I wish I ate healthier. Guys–I took a full regular size bag of salt and vinegar chips to work for breakfast this morning. And then I ordered Chinese take out for lunch. Dinner consisted of pizza and breadsticks with a few cocktails. My husband keeps saying “Don’t come to me laughing when you die of a heart attack” Lucky for him the last time I checked dead people can’t laugh. Sucker.

4. I wish I didn’t lose my virginity to three girls. Tonight. But, well…I did.

Excuse the hotness. 

They stole that “G-Chat” virginity right out from under me faster than I can say the words “give me mac & cheese or give me death” (see number 3).
But trust me ladies–it was worth it.

5. I wish I had more time to blog right now. But I don’t. And this post might have been written in ten minutes or less. Half conscious at that. It’s waaaaaaay past my bedtime. I mean seriously, it’s 9:40 pm for crying out loud. Yes I just said crying out loud and “it’s way past my bedtime” at 9:40 pm in the same paragraph.
I’m 26 going on 74. I get it.

Happy weekend loves.
I’m outta this mug.


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