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Don’t Be An Idiot.

October 13, 2011


Erin Schrader

So check it:
Once upon a time there was a boy & girl standing at the baggage claim in the Chicago Midway airport.
Next to them stood another boy & girl.
Except that boy & girl were fighting.
And the boy decided it was a good idea to act a fool and smack a bottle of water out of his woman’s hands.
Upon the bottle of water landing in front of the boy & girl bystanders-
the girl observing got mad.
Like her face got red and she was full of rage at what she just witnessed.
{Real quick-the girl was me. I am the one who got mad-got it?!}
Not only that-but the dumb-butt boy told his girl to pick up the bottle herself.
So being the fabulous chimer that I am-I chimed right in on that conversation.
So I began with something sweet along the lines of “Wow….he is acting like an idiot”
{spoken loudly to my husband} and then proceed to tell the guy
“Sir…you better pick that bottle up yourself”
{I am over the top intimidating}
And then he has the nerve to say something to the extent of
“We’ve been married awhile….it doesn’t matter!”
And THROWS the bottle at his wife.
Throws it ladies.
And misses terribly {proving that he is good at NOTHING}
Are you surprised?
So then I get really mad.
Because who in their right mind throws a freaking water bottle in an airport at his wife?
After he already smacked it out of her hands.
An idiot.
That’s who.
So then I proceeded to make all sorts of statements that his wife can hear about how nobody should put up with that-how acting like he did is absurd {at which point my husband chimes in “Unless your 6 yrs old…”
<–genius that man is…And so on}
The end of the story basically goes like this: We got our bags and walked away.
Sucky ending I know.
But I seriously can’t stop thinking about that whole ordeal.
My heart hearts for that poor girl who has to deal with that crap on a daily basis.
I don’t care who you are-how long you’ve been married-blah blah blah
you should NOT have to put up with that kind of behavior.
And the sad thing is-I am sure that is minimal to what a lot of people put up with.
But seriously..The minute my husband throws a water bottle at me when he is mad is the moment I knock out every single one of his teeth and eyeballs.
No joke.
Now if only that guy could read my blog and he could be embarrassed by his actions.
I seriously need to start handing out business cards for matters such as this.
You know something like
“Thanks for acting like a fool.
Please read about your story on Living In Yellow along with the rest of the world.
It will be fun-see you there”
Off to Vistaprint as we speak…
Peace out homies.

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