+ I am insanely excited about the Florida Georgia Line and NELLY concert taking place tomorrow night. Nelly being in all caps because OMG I LOVE HIM. And FGL..my favorite little douches ever. Goochie goo.
+ I just had a few cocktails which explains why Nelly is in all caps and why I can’t stop calling my FGL boys douches. Blame it on the cutoff tees and jean vests.
+ This also explains why I just told my husband every last detail about the surprise 30th birthday party I am throwing him Saturday night. I mean, nobody actually wants to be surprised do they?
+ That you should follow me on Instagram so that you know when I pick up dead birds on accident.
+ I forgot to expire my promo code for my 50% off sponsor sale which means SUMMERFUN is still valid.
+ That this tampon video is freaking hilarious and I want to bob for ovaries asap.
+ Every time I sneeze these days pee comes out, confirming 125% why I can never give birth.
+ I still long to be the salsa dancer emoticon.
+ Speaking of, sometimes I get really annoyed when people don’t chime in on group texts. At least throw me a confetti emoticon or a good ole fashioned “bend over and I’ll show ya” comment. Something people.
+ My house smells amazing right now. I would invite you over to sniff it but then I would have to invite you over to sniff it.
+ I am making cowboy crack tomorrow for work. I made a vow to not eat chips at all this week. I failed on Monday. Hence why I am celebrating with cowboy crack. Hashtag live it up.
+ You should also buy this necklace from Cadorah because it’s the perfect amount of edge and class all rolled into one. If you are also the perfect amount of the two [confident we all are], order it and use code LIY10 for 10% off.