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Awkward & Awesome. Minus The Awesome.

December 1, 2011


Erin Schrader

So here’s the explanation on the title–
Awkward & Awesome posts usually take me a solid hour to write.
And right now, I don’t have a solid hour to waste.
So I thought that maybe if I didn’t actually call it “Awkward & Awesome Thursday” the post would get written faster?
Except now I just realized my logic is mildly stupid.
So instead, I’ve just decided today I am stickin’ to the Awkwards, and tomorrow you will get the Awesomes.
How’s that sound?
Better sound good because unfortunately..you have no choice.
Let’s begin:


1. So you remember how this has been my whip for the past week {or two}
while my car is in the shop right?
I could just stop right here with my first awkward. But no, it gets better.
Well, the other night was deemed “girls night” so we thought it would be most practical to take this baby out.
I mean she seats 6.
Who needs a minivan when you can ride around in this class?
Anyhow, I went to parallel park and as I am doing so my friend exclaims
“Wow, you are doing so good…I am impressed”
The very next second…WHAM.
Right into the car in front of us.
So much for my impressive parallel parking skills.
Fortunately, no damage was done on either end.
2. Leaving a bar that same night, I’m driving home and notice this plastered on my windshield:
Oh what’s that you say?
A parking ticket.
For parking in a handicap spot nonetheless.
Hi, my name is Erin and I park in Handicap spots at the bar.
Citizen Of The Year.
3. Somewhere in between the crash and the parking ticket, I managed to exit a parking lot, by failing to realize where the exit was. This means I exited by flying off a curb and miraculously landing on the street. 
Don’t worry, that car has shocks like you wouldn’t believe.
4. I mentioned I don’t own the car that I did all of the above in right?
 Okay, moving on…
5. Standing behind a woman in the grocery store who was purchasing 40 cans of cat food.
You can imagine what she looked like.
6. So you may remember this post.
That same day I happened to email my husband and say something that involved the line of..
“You know what’s sad….” followed by a bunch of non-sense.
His response “No, what is sad is the number of self portraits in your blog post today. That’s what’s sad”
I thought to myself, “Self…You should count the number of self portraits and prove him wrong!”
I had 8 freakin’ self portraits in that post.
This may have caused a low moment in my life.
Needless to say, I am done with self portraits for good.


…..And there you have it.
I literally have a list of 40 other Awkward moments that have happened in my life recently.
You think I am kidding.
Guess we’ll have to save those for another day…
Oh, and come back tomorrow for the Awesome{s}.
Fortunately, there are many of those as well.
PS. If you are the dealership of the car I am driving right now, just know that numbers 1-3 were completely falsified and made up strictly for “humor” purposes of this blog.
PSS. If you do not own the car mentioned in 1-3, everything mentioned is completely 100% true.

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