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I Am A Woman. This Post Is Logical.

May 1, 2013

By:

Erin Schrader

this picture is not related to this post in any way, shape, or form but is being used strictly for entertainment purposes

I’m just going to sit here and rehash the last hour of my life so that all of you other women can read and agree that everything I am about to say is very important and is a VERY BIG DEAL danggit.
Let’s begin here. I have this problem. It’s called French fries. I am borderline obsessed with them. More particularly, McDonalds French fries. The only reason it’s somewhat of a problem is because I have to keep it a secret from my husband every time I order them. Except I can never keep it a secret because they are French fries  and people, they are worth celebrating. So I celebrate by sending two hundred French fry emoticons to my husband along with calling him to announce “OH MY GOSH I LOVE MCDONALDS FRENCH FRIES!!!!!” I like to keep things drama free as much as possible.  
So today I did it. I made the executive decision that either the period that is about to start or the baby that is brewing (what? It has to be one of the two and they are both very logical reasons thank you very much) was making me drive there to get my fries. Obviously first I changed into workout clothes because that’s what you do when you are about to drive to the McDonalds drive thru. It fools everybody into thinking that this is a very rare occasion because hello, you are in workout clothes. People in workout clothes don’t frequent the golden arch. After I had my sports bra, tank, yoga pants, and tennis shoes on, I was off.
But then the first dilemma happened. You have to sit there and decide “do I want to be that girl who just changed into workout clothes to drive to McDonalds to order ONLY a medium fry (potentially large) OR should I just make it a meal to make it look a little less like I wasn’t here just for fries?” So I did what seemed logical and backed up my “hey I’m in workout clothes here” persona I had going for me, I made it a meal. Grilled chicken sandwich at that. The only dilemma here is that all meat products from McDonald’s actually make me gag so I really bought it just to throw it away. I’m sorry. This is a terrible greedy thing to do but I had to. It’s either eat the meat and die or appear that I didn’t drive there strictly for fries. 
Dying was not an option at this point.  
Second dilemma now happens. And this one is HUGE. I forgot to order freakin’ honey to go with my fries. Who does that? Me, that’s who. So then it really made this whole French fry experience pretty anticlimactic because I had no honey to dip them in. At this point I was furious and considered going on a tweeting rampage but remembered I have to remain a person of dignity even in the hardest of times so I stopped myself and wrote a blog post instead.
Long story short, I came back to work—changed out of my workout clothes, threw my sandwich away (okay listen–I had a few bites of it but only because it had bacon AND ranch on it), and held back the tears as I forced the fries into my mouth sans honey.
All this to say, I now HAVE to go back tomorrow to fix what went awry today.
And that completes an entire post written about French fries.
Love you husband.

***********************************************************************
Today’s featured sponsor is Meagan from Meagan and Garrett
The cuteness that resides in that photo above slays me. Here too. I’m just going to jump into the beauty of these two–Meagan and Garrett’s story goes like this: Met. Fell In Love. Got Married. Bought A House. Had a Baby. Adopted a Baby. And praised Jesus through it all. And that my friends sums these two up. But wait. You HAVE to watch the videos on their first son and then the adoption video of their second. Of course I’m crying right now. The beauty in their spirits (and birthday parties) shines all over her blog. 
Meagan writes about the most fascinating thing in her world–her life. And she does so beautifully. Just looking at her pictures fills me up, I’m not even kidding. Meagan just exudes those feel good vibes and let’s be real-you can never have enough of those. Make sure to check out her home renovations and world travels while you are there!

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