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Girl—You Be Weird.

March 1, 2012

By:

Erin Schrader

**Before you start reading: Please know that Blogger is giving me a massive headache right now with it’s spacing issues it has goin’ on. I am about to throw my computer out of the window.
It’s been good blogging friends. Sayanora computer**

So a lot of times on this blog I get comments that say “You are hilarious”

Or tweets that say “How in the world do you come up with this S-h-fill in the blank-t?!”
Really, I equate both to…
 “Girl—you are weird and how in the world does your brain come up with this non-sense?”
And you all need to know something right here, right now.
What you see on this blog is just a smidgen of how I am in real life.
In fact, I consider some of my greatest “writings” not on blog posts.
But instead emails.
And real life conversations.
Oh, and tweets.
Especially tweets.
I could blow that thing up like a mother if I stayed at home all day.
Just sayin’.
So I thought today—why not share with you some of my recent conversations?
Just so I can confirm that in fact, this weirdness travels with me everywhere and anywhere, not just on the blog.
We’ll start with a conversation that I had via email with my husband the other day
{it was about me attending a conference that Giuliana is going to be at}

Me: I pretty much decided that I NEED to go on April 15th to that event in Chicago.
Can I please please please?!??!?!? I will save up my own money to go!!!!!

Him: Haha, we will talk about it tonight. I doubt I’ll have any issue with it, I just dont know what it is.

Him: All I see stamped all over this thing is “fundraise, fundraise, fundraise”. IT’S $500.

Me: Hehehehehe I know…you don’t HAVE to fundraise you silly monkey.

Him: No way are you spending $500 on a seminar in Chicago…you failed to mention how much it cost!

Me: Oh brother. Guess I will have to fundraise for it 😉

Him: Only if it entails not asking anyone for a dime!!!!!! No blog mentions asking for money in any way, no physical talking asking for money, nothing of that sort.

Me: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?
I WANTED TO DO EACH AND EVERY THING YOU LISTED!!!

Me: Oh, and I wanted to have a llama sale for it too.
I would go steal a bunch of llamas and then sell them.
HOW DOES THAT SOUND?!?!

Him: Haha, okay now the llama sale I can handle.

Disclosure: I do not own any llamas. Nor do I know what a llama is. But, I am going to find out—
and then rally up all the llamas I can get. And then sell them.
All to meet Giuliana. Act like that isn’t genius.

And then, there is this email conversation with my friend at work
(I would say she is equally as quirky. Or funny. Or crazy):
Her: Your goal for the week is to read the hunger games.  The end.

Me: oh crap. I don’t know if I can accomplish that. Sorry.

….insert small talk about how we need to do dinner.

Me: Okay we are in for tomorrow night. Woop Woop. What time do we need to plan on chicken head? I hope it is okay if I drink a bottle of wine.
Are we riding together or separate?

Her: We’ll have to go separate cause we have to drop off the kids and we wouldn’t be able to fit everyone in the car then…sorry!  It’s either that or buy a minivan.

Me: BUY A MINIVAN. JUST FOR TOMORROW. NOW.

Her: Ew, never.  Not even for you.  I would walk to work every day before I would get a minivan.

Me: Whatever. We can’t be friends if we can’t ride together. Sorry.

Her: Fine, well you guys can sit at the next table and we will talk smack the whole time and you’ll hear it cause you’re an eavesdropper. TAKE THAT.

Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I LOVE EAVESDROPPING.
BOOOO YA SUCKAAAAAA.
For the record—I love minivans. And want to own one.
And no, I do not have children. But think of all the friends that could fit in that baby.
 
Oh hey that’s cool.
My husband just made me delete the funniest part in the whole post.
I think this calls for bed time.
Moral of the story to all of this is—well, I am not sure.
Oh right, I remember where I was going with this.
It’s a fact.
I am weird.
Speaking of—my husband told me to wear his shoes to bible study the other night.
While I may not have worked up the nerve to actually wear them out,
I had no shame in having a full out photo session in those bad boys.
Dang, I look good.

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