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Random Ramblings

May 26, 2021


Erin Schrader

Well hello internet, nice to meet you too. My name is Erin, or if you’re husband my name is E. I recently gave up caffeine because apparently getting a “be still” tattoo on my wrist many years ago wasn’t enough to tame my wild nerves. Literally, I am just learning how to sit still at the age of 34 years old and it is just as uncomfortable as I always envisioned it to be. Why sit when you can stand? Why stand when you can flail your arms in circles? Why flail your arms in circles when you can eat microwaved nachos and cheese? Never mind. 

The good news is that I finally scheduled a therapy session and I’m hoping she can help me understand why I hate being still [among a plethora of other “WTF” things floating around in my mind]. I just hope she lets me stand to talk when we figure this out. Another thing I need to figure out? How to get rid of this freaking margarita [aka lime] burn on my skin I got last week. Apparently squeezing 10 limes into a shot glass and then spilling said shot glass on your hands instead of in the pitcher of Moscow Mule you are trying to make doesn’t turn out well when going out in the sun afterward. Do I have blisters? Do GOLI Apple Cider Vinegar gummies make me have the healthiest bowel movements on the planet? The answer is yes to both my friends. 

On a serious note, I am very excited [also read: terrified] to talk to a therapist. I have never done such an activity before but I have to believe that expressing my feelings to more than two animals who roll around on dead worms could be life-giving and eye-opening. I shared recently on social media how I’ve been realizing as I get older that I find myself getting more and more bored with myself. Gone are the quirky, weird days of Erin but here is the serious, let me only converse with you in the form of questions and answers and be in bed by 9 pm Erin. I should clarify – I am totally fine with the 9 pm thing, that can stay. But when did my freak flag stop flying and where did it go? Can it be waved again and if so, where can I buy a pole to prop it up on!? 

So what else is going on? Aside from a whole lot of nothing, not much. Tonight we’re going to attempt to go wake surfing but currently outside the window there are white cap waves rolling all over so that could be interesting. Did I ever tell you about the time that I was learning to wake surf and face planted into the water but didn’t realize I was supposed to let go of the rope so the boat just kept dragging me face down in the water for awhile which all went up my nose and caused me to cry in a closet for hours in embarrassment? That’s a true story. I should stop subjecting myself to being around people, my nose can’t handle any more water. 

On that note, I’m off to get my hands into a Pringle can. It’s the party stack pack. Arms, I hope you’re ready to get low.

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