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Things You’ll Never Hear A Woman Say To A Man

June 4, 2014


Erin Schrader

+ “I wish you would wear cut off tees more often.”

+ “I would appreciate it if you would value me for my boobs and my boobs only.”
+ “No, don’t buy me diamonds. I prefer panty hose.” 
+ “I get tired of you cleaning and cooking all of the time.” 
+ “I think the dirt under your fingernails is sexy.”
+ “You should stay home and let me work full-time.”
+ “Those Carhartts look awesome on you.”
+ “Channing Tatum has nothing on you.” 
+ “You should put more juicy peach air fresheners in your car. It’s hot.”
+ “I prefer you play Candy Crush instead of talk in bed.”
+ “You should go on a guys trip. To Vegas. And leave your ring and phone at home.”
+ “Of course you should buy that $10,000 lawn mower!!!”
+ “I totally understand and appreciate your lack of communication.” 
+ “I would rather I just take care of all of the Christmas shopping, wrapping, cooking, and clean up. Sit on the couch and relax, I’ll do the rest.” 
+ “I would feel more comfortable if you would let me drill all of the screws into our walls.” 
+ “I really hate the way you look when you hold a baby.”
+ “I would rather you use the majority of our master closet, I’m fine with using the dresser only.”
+ “I wish you ate more garlic.”
+ “Of course I am not jealous of the 5’10 woman with a rocking bod and gorgeous face that you are looking at right now while I am trying to talk to you!” 
+ “I promise I won’t buy anything at Target this time.” 
+ “Screw Instagram. I’m giving my full attention to you for the entire weekend.” 
+ “You were right!” 

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