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If There Was No Such Thing As A “Dress Code Policy”

June 2, 2014


Erin Schrader

 dress: stitch fix // heels: charlotte russe // purse: local boutique
[photo credit: house of harkless]
I’m not sure about your workplace, but at mine we have that three dreaded word thing, commonly referred to as dress code policy. Complete with a “must wear hose at all times” clause. I’m lucky and blessed I know. Except that’s a complete lie because I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I would rather deal with a hoe than a pair of hose. It’s the quickest way to become an 80 year old frog complete with webbed toes and all. Truly it’s the opposite of the word sexy in every way, shape, and form. But now that we established my love for hose, let’s talk about if I didn’t have to wear them. I would wear outfits like this. Cute fun little dresses, with cute little strappy shoes, and fancy handbags to go with it. I would pretend like I had my ish together and that I knew how to sit still for more than 7 minutes at a time. I would obviously get a lot more work done because cute outfits breed hard work. I would also most likely get a pedicure more than once a quarter. I am assuming I would stop for coffee at a cute little coffee shop every morning on my way to work because what’s an outfit with a fancy cardboard sleeve? Now that I mention it I probably wouldn’t eat chips every thirty minutes either. The less I eat the less chance for stains. The moral of the story is if I didn’t have a dress code to uphold, I would be a much more diligent, clean, poor, skinnier, manicured, happier human being. 
But until then, I’ll resort to my stapled hemmed pants, hose with enough holes to have at least three toes sticking out of, and sweaters with deodorant stains. 
Keepin’ it classy, one workday at a time. 
ps. for the record, I get asked “ARE THOSE STAPLES IN YOUR PANTS?” at least bi-weekly. #proud

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