Oh sweet Friday.
It’s heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.
Well technically it will be here tomorrow but that’s what I call a minor detail.
This week has been an exciting one. But also rather {mentally} exhausting. And while I wish I could share with you all of this excitement, my Nazi husband is saying “No. You aren’t sharing this on the blog…Yet”
Well I added the “yet” part but I am sure eventually you will hear about what’s going on in my little world.
And no, it does not involve babies, thank you for asking.
However, with that being said–my mind has been anywhere but here the past couple of days.
So what does a blogger do when a blogger doesn’t have time to blog?
She uses a blog post that was written awhile ago but never actually published on her own blog!
Taaaaa-da.
I apologize if you have read this when I’ve guest posted on other blogs, but if you haven’t..well enjoy.
I think it’s mildly entertaining but than again, I also think I am the funniest person I know.
Unfortunately, I haven’t found anybody else who agrees with me.
But you know what we say about that right?
The heck with them.
Now I don’t know about you, but I love myself a good dose of humor.
My life motto is if I can laugh enough, I don’t have to actually do any physical exercise.
Wanna burn off the three donuts you just ate for breakfast? Watch The Ellen Show.
Way more beneficial than stepping foot into a gym.
So some of you may be thinking “well crap. I am not very funny…Nor do I know how to be funny on my blog.” To which I would reply “Sucks to be you”. Just kidding. Kind of.
In an effort to put those thoughts to rest though, I thought I would share a couple of ways on
“How to be a funny blogger”
Let’s begin shall we?
1. Make fun of yourself. Pretty regularly. Let’s face it—we all have flaws {unless you are Luke Bryan, Channing Tatum, and Jennifer Aniston} and there is no reason we need to hide those suckers. I look at it this way—if I don’t make fun of them, somebody else probably will. Call yourself out on the fact that you wear socks with holes, that you pee your pants in the grocery store, or that you fall down stairs when wearing heels. Moral of the story: save yourself having to punch somebody in the face for making fun of you by making fun of yourself first. Your knuckles will thank you.
2. Write as if you are speaking face to face with somebody.
My favorite blogs are the ones where I feel like I am actually conversing with them. The blogs that use slang and aren’t afraid to type like they talk. Now I don’t know about you, but I am not one to sit and have a conversation that goes a little somethin’ like “Last evening my adorable husband and I sat outside and watched in awe as the fireflies lit up the sky”. No. I would never say that. However, I would say “so the other night my husband and I watched fireflies light up the sky like a mother and it was pretty darn amazeballs” Yup. Much more my speed.
3. Say what is on your mind at all times. So what if you are writing a post about how much you love your cat and smack dab in the middle of writing you get a craving for mac & cheese with hot sauce on top? Throw that in there. People want to know that you aren’t only obsessed with your cat but that also love mac and cheese {like any normal human being should}. Random is good people. Remember that.
4. Refer to items as things with feelings. This is just something I’ve always done (then again I am not the most “normal” you may say..). Let’s use your blog as an example. See how boring it was just referring to your blog as “a blog”. I like to think of mine as a girl (because she is cute. Obviously if something is cute it’s a girl). And I believe my blog likes to indulge in a drink every now and again. Let’s compare the two sentences and see which is more enjoyable to read “I am going out tonight to celebrate that my blog just turned a year old” or “My cute little blog requested that I take her out for a celebratory drink tonight for her first birthday. She may be young but she sure knows how to throw down every now and again…” You tell me which was more enjoyable.
5. Don’t be afraid to show sarcasm.
It’s the best thing since Michael Jordan left his wife for me.
6. Use some “shock and awe” in your titles and/or posts.
I don’t like boring blog titles and I don’t think blog readers do either. Instead of titling a post “We Built A Firepit” why not call it “Getting Dirty with My Husband”. Take a guess at which one will bring you more page views. Lesson to be learned: People are perverts. Use it to your advantage.
….and there you have it kitten britches {lesson number 7—refer to your readers as kitten britches}, seven simple things to remember to make your blog posts hill rat hilarious.
Said in my most ghetto voice–peace out.