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Dear Erin,

April 9, 2012


Erin Schrader

As you know, it’s Tuesday.
As you should also know by now, that means its time for Dear Erin.
At the moment I feel ill-equipped to write this post.
For one, I have no wine in my hand.
Excuse me while I go fix this problem.
Now that we are good there–
my other issue is that my nose will not stop sneezing for the life of me.
Have you ever tried concentrating on something while you sneeze?
Consider it impossible.
Speaking of–have you ever thought about the dangers of sneezing while driving?
I mean lets be real–me driving without sneezing is dangerous enough.
But you add in those bits of eyes closed, head whipping, and heart stopping {is that really true?!}, it is a recipe for disaster.
I really don’t know why I am talking about all of this right now.
Oh right, because I can’t stop sneezing.
Anyhow..I should probably get the ball rolling with these questions.
You know. So I can go wallow in self sneezing misery over a glass {or four} of wine.
Dear Erin,
Hey! I don’t know if this qualifies for your advice post since it’s not hilarious. Like at all…but I need to know something. I need advice…about your hair. The color to be precise. What do you tell your hair person you want when you get your hair did? Do they foil it? Pull it through a cap? Paint it on freestyle? Is it bleach or color? And I’m gonna be all kinds of jealous if I find out you DIY that beautifulness!
Pimp My Weave

Dear Pimp My Weave,
Let me start by saying thank you.
As you can tell below, this masterpiece that sits atop my head has always been blessed.
I urge you not to be jealous of this matter.
While not everybody can pull off the “I want to be mistaken for a boy” and “crimped chipmunk” look, I certainly could.
Thank you Jesus.
Because of my fortunate hair genes, I have never had to tell my hairstylist what I would like done.
I simply sit down in her chair {once every 6-8 months..holler roots} and say
“Just do what you normally do”.
This equates to the following:
–Not wetting my hair before cutting. Just going straight at it.
–The highlights you speak of. That is a nice mix of bleach {so healthy for your hair I hear} and some color of light brown I think? I think being the main point in that sentence. Oh, and because I am all for not having to sit in that chair for very long, I only have the top of my hair done. And yes, she does simply just foil it alternating between the beautiful bleach and color.
–After all of this, I exit the salon with dripping wet hair.
True story.
I’ve got things to do and my hair is not one of them.
Fortunately enough, I somehow walk away from all of the following with this look every time. For the past 8 years. I would hate to have to switch up my stylists routine ya know? That’s just rude.

Dear Erin,

I’m 23 and I need some advice on alcohol.
Now, not saying you drink a lot of it….ok maybe you do drink enough of it that almost each post shares you are having some wine and ect. So you must have some good suggestions for me?!
I have tried several alcoholic beverages in the past few years and I have found nothing that tasted good to me! Am I just doomed to never enjoy a glass of wine now and then? Is there a way to feel all sophisticated if I don’t like martinis? Show me your ways!
What do you mean I drink a lot?

I take great offense.
But because I have {very limited} experience in the alcohol department, I will help a sister out.
Drinking can be an acquired taste for those of us who did not attend college.
Or for those of us who did not have their first full beverage until they turned 21.
Surprisingly enough, this is true. I can hear the gasps now. I know. All the fun I missed out on.
Anyhow, wine and beer used to be my enemies.
Fruity cocktails though however, have always been near and dear to my heart.
So I suggest you start there.
With something that tastes absolutely nothing like alcohol.
Think fuzzy navels//key lime pie martinis//apple wine//vodka waters with lemon.
If this approach seems too wussy, I have a better suggestion.
Stomach a few shots of what have you {Everclear anyone?} and before you know it–you will be able to drink anything your heart desires and not notice the taste.
Others will stare in envy as you tear through that bottle of Jim Beam.
But always remember–drink in moderation.
Unless you want to have fun.
In which case, party on girlfriend.

Have any questions that you are dying to have answered {and no, not just about me..} but you know, like serious life questions {including but not limited to: Why do pickles exist? How did my mom get to be so hot? or Why has Keith Urban not responded to my tweet about marrying him?

..Okay so maybe I am still trying to figure out that last question. But yes, if you have a question shoot it my way at livinginyellow@gmail.com. Can’t wait to answer.
Happy Tuesday lover beans. Go make it worthwhile…say with a drink or two.

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