Steph here, Director of Operations at Living in Yellow. While I’ve been a part of this team for 9 years, I recently took some time off and transitioned to a more behind the scenes role as I adjust to what life looks like after unexpectedly losing my husband, Dave, in March. Because I know you’ll all be curious, Dave had a splenic aneurysm which took his life in a matter of seconds after rupture. We did not know it was present, and it did not show on preventative screenings less than 4 years ago. I had the most loving and encouraging conversation with him over lunch that day, then he was just… gone. What’s one to do when their whole life crumbles and everything they thought they knew about their present and future changes unexpectedly in a matter of seconds?
A word picture of this verse has been on my mind. Clay begins as a lump. In the potter’s hands it is kneaded, moistened for ease of shaping, turned on the wheel, flattened; then it begins to be moulded and changed. It is completely transformed into the vessel its creator intends. The transformation of the clay is not always gentle and rarely occurs without complete reimagination and recreation from the state of which it began. Sometimes throughout the process the clay is flattened again and reshaped yet another way. There’s not much about the clay’s appearance that stays the same from start to finish. If this inanimate object had senses, I’d image all of that spinning, stretching, flattening and reshaping would hurt quite a bit.
It should come as no surprise to me that my rebuilding is not without pain. That being shaped into my Potter’s masterpiece is stretching me in many different and trying ways. Yet, in His goodness, He continues to provide me with the Living water needed to allow for a smoother transformation. I will continue to rest in His hands, welcome the transformative pain sustained by His grace and comfort, and allow Him to shape me. He’s the only one who knows the vessel I’m best suited to be.
If you are currently experiencing loss, transformation or uncertainty of any kind – I pray that this visual brings you comfort and allows you to see a purpose in the trials you are facing, and the pain that goes along with them.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it, friends – this has been a gut wrenching time in my life with many many days that feel impossible to get through. On my own strength, I simply could not. While not everyone will walk this specific road, and I truly hope you never do – any kind of growth, change, a removal of the future you hoped for is hard. Life can be really, really hard. I’m praying for the presence and comfort of the Living God in your life today.
