It’s been awhile since I have done one of these posts where I let my thoughts and fingers lead the way. Wherever my brain goes, my words go. Sometimes this is scary or leads to discussions between Shawn and me of “was that really necessary for the world to know?!” which always ends with the obvious answer of, duh, yes. Recently I have tried to be all “strategic” and “thought out” with posts and well, that’s not really my jam. And I like jam [especially grape] so to do something that ruins the flavor of what I have going on, well it kinda sucks. I miss my husband being semi-appalled with me and shoot, I kinda miss myself being semi-appalled of myself. You know what the problem is? I have too much time on my hands. When you have too much time on your hands you do the following – become dumb and don’t think about many things, drink wine probably too often and that’s about it. That’s all I do. I don’t think about anything while sipping Rosé. Rosé reminds me of roses which reminds me that I am behind currently on The Bachelorette which is horrifying. Horrifying because I have no clue what is actually happening in the real world right now. How am I supposed to have conversations with anybody if I can’t even speak to who Rachel is making out with right now? Exactly. My life is meaningless.

Enough about that though, it’s time to impress you all with my humble brag on how I have successfully kept an orchid alive for almost 3 months now. This defies all logic and proves that miracles are still a thing. I don’t know if any of you have tried to keep something alive before, but that is not a job for the weak.Do you know what is, however? Eating Pizza Hut pizza and breadsticks for lunch after trying to convince yourself earlier in the day that you are turning over a new leaf and are going to start eating healthy moving forward. I AM WEAK. I GET IT. GIVE ME MORE PIZZA. #datbreadstickthough

I occasionally like to use the word dat. I get weird looks when I do which I’m still trying to figure out, but it will catch on with folks one of these days. Maybe it’s because I also use words like “folks”.

Shawn and I went to a Tom Petty concert last week in Chicago which was all sorts of fun. More fun? The 60+-year-old man who smoked a good amount of that one type of plant and continued to yell “talk to me Tom!” with his hands reached out to him during the entire show. I will never be that cool.

Does anybody else struggle with showering in the summer? It just seems like SO.MUCH.WORK.

Also a lot of work? Watching your husband plant plants. You have to act like you are into it while saying things like “good job!” “that’s a nice hole!” “maybe a little deeper!”

I should probably delete that last sentence.

So the new blog design is up [spoiler alert, you’re looking at it right now] and I still don’t know how to do anything on here. People told me that switching from Blogger to WordPress is a “piece of cake” but honestly, it just makes me want to eat cake while I sit in a corner of a room and cry because I don’t even know how to get the spacing on these posts to make it look like a three-year-old didn’t write it.

Speaking of three-year-olds here is a lesson for the internet – never admit that you don’t want to manually birth your own child. People will FREAK. You know what else will freak? Yourself. When getting pooped on by a bird while relaxing in the pool. Happy 4th of July to me.

And on that note, I feel like I need to go shower now. Peace.

ps. the first picture in this post has absolutely nothing to do with anything I just talked about, I realize this. However, blog posts that don’t start out with a photo weird me out and that was the first photo I came across on my phone so that’s what I went with. #themoreyouknow