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Currently I’m…..

August 29, 2016

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general rule of thumb – always start your blog post with a photo of tacos. people will like you more.
+ Wondering how and why // my favorite movies as a child were Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman. It’s almost like my parents wanted me to be a prostitute? Sorry parents for deeply failing you on that one.
+ Thrilled about // my newest discovery of White Claw Spiked Sparkling Water. It’s like drinking water but with alcohol. Hence the whole spiked thing.
light up bar sign from junk art gypsyz

+ Forgiving myself for // forgetting to wear underwear the past two times I’ve been on my period. Sorry about that one pants, better luck next time.

+ Recovering from // the one hour it took me to mop my floors. Why they haven’t invented self cleaning floors yet is beyond me. Somebody out there has to be smart enough to accomplish this task right?

+ Watching // well, technically I’m not watching it at this moment, however I did watch the movie Mother’s Day last night and loved every bit of it. I want to be Jennifer Aniston sooner than later, so if somebody knows how to make that happen maybe let me know.
+ Ordering // Ugg slippers for my husband and one of these robes for myself. I’m convinced that if we spend money on items that we can only wear around the house that we will never actually leave the house, in return saving us money. It’s a very logical thought process.

+ Listening to // the sound of the dryer running downstairs in the basement along with somebody mowing outside. Anybody else’s washer and dryer in the basement? I keep telling myself that if I would do laundry more than once a week I might actually get in shape.
+ Washing // the bedding. It was a craaaaaaaaazy weekend in the sheets. You want the details? You got it. My nieces ate popcorn AND drank 7UP while laying in them. I know, I couldn’t believe it got that wild either. You know what else got wild? The other night when we jumped on the trampoline together and pee came out.
+ Feeling // the heaviest I’ve ever been. Minus that one time in high school after I started dating Shawn and he drank Sprite Remix like it was his freaking job so then I did too and put on a quick 30 pounds. The things love does to us. Gross. On the bright side I totally have plans to start the 21 day fix next Tuesday. I only said “on the bright side” because that means I still have a solid 7 days left of enjoying life.
+ Trying to forget // the bad dream that I had around the baby shower I am hosting this weekend for my bestie who is getting ready to pop. I totally forgot to have any decorations, zero games and maybe forgot to have people bring gifts. It was a nightmare. Which reminds me, I should probably start planning the baby shower now.
+ Smelling // the trash. It’s super luxurious over here.
+ Behind on // Only 1441 emails. NBD.
+ Thankful for // the gift that I gave to Shawn for his birthday this year. These YETI koozies have come in handy every time I need a drink on the boat. New discovery – the Ozark Trail brand are a ton cheaper and work just as good. They keep your can cold for an insane amount of hours, holler.
+ Opening // my box. My Stitch Fix box that is. You freaks. [ps. anybody else love when Jimmy Fallon plays “box of lies” with people – especially Jennifer Lawrence.]
+ Thinking about // That one time in middle school when I put a trail of little pieces of brownies all over the gymnasium floor and then went and got a janitor and told him a mice must have pooped all over the place. Who does this and why am I still alive to tell the story? Certainly kids aren’t this dumb [or creative] these days right?
+ Kicking my self in the shins for // not planning a tropical vacation this fall. Who doesn’t want to lay on the beach when winter is quickly approaching in Indiana? Idiot call Erin.
+ Wearing // a sports bra, tank and workout shorts. If you’re not actually working out, you may as well dress the part. Pretty sure it burns the same amount of calories. Basically.
+ Eating // nothing. It’s a miracle so I had to document it.
+ Planning // dinner. If I’m not eating, I’m thinking about it. Tonight’s choice? Spice-Rubbed Chicken with some sweet potato, bell pepper and feta jumble. Don’t think that I just pulled that out of my back end, it’s totally Hello Fresh calling the shots over here. But I do appreciate that it makes me sound like I know what I’m doing in the kitchen. JOKES ON YOU SUCKERS.
+ Daydreaming about // randomly running into Jake Owen in a grocery store or somewhere cool like that. I really just want to see his teeth up close and personal. Like are they that white and pretty?
+ Having to // go to the bathroom. BRB people. Number one or number two? You’ll never know….
+ Wishing // I could go number 2 more often. #digestiveprobs
+ Anxious about // getting my blood drawn next Tuesday. WHY DO NEEDLES EXIST? AND WHY ARE ROUTINE HEALTH CHECK-UPS A THING? DON’T PEOPLE HAVE MORE TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES THAN RUIN OTHERS?
+ Ending // this blog post. And the crowd sang hallelujah. Pretend this is me saying bye except I’m not actually saying anything but smiling at you really up close and personal. You’re right, this just got weird. BYE!

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