And that picture pretty much sums up our holiday weekend.
Indiana decided to hide the sunshine from all of us Vitamin D deprived folks and bring out the clouds and cooler temps all weekend long which made for a lot of boat rides in sweatshirts and a lot of food consumed because guess who feels like she can eat anything when not being forced to bounce around in a tiny little swimsuit? Oops.
Have I confessed yet that my lock screen is a picture of Cara Loren in workout gear in hopes that it will motivate me to actually stop eating crap and move my body from time to time? In case you think I’m kidding, here you go.
and just like that I officially became the world’s biggest creep
I sometimes get weird looks when friends or family see my phone light up but it’s whatever, they could probably afford to see the picture for motivation as well. No, I didn’t just call my friends and family fat. I mean I kinda did but I didn’t mean it. Long story short, the phone screen trick isn’t working at all because carbs keep calling me their way and I don’t know how to say no.
Back to what I was saying though, our 4th of July weekend. It all started out Friday when my nieces decided to get their tonsils and adenoids taken out which had me in tears all morning because I apparently can’t handle adult things. People ask me all of the time if we are going to have kids and then things like this happen and I mean, I just can’t. I would be a crying sopping wet mess 24/7 and I’m not even a crier. Fortunately they came out of the surgery alive and are still living tonsil free so hoooooooray.
Friday evening we headed out for dinner with a few friends to celebrate my oldie but goodie of a husband and his 32nd year of life. He’s trying to eat all healthy and stuff [annoying] but then I forced him to order macaroni and cheese to share with me so that was fun. There is a 100% chance we ended the night at Dairy Queen shoving our faces full of the Royal Cheesecake blizzard. HOLY CRAP. Have you all had those royal’s yet? I heard about it thanks to a recent Uber driver who went on and on and on [I think he may have had an orgasm by the end of the conversation] about them. Warning: you may have the same reaction after eating.
Saturday, Sunday and Monday were all spent doing the same three things on repeat – eating, boating, fireworking. We were able to watch those boomers from the water two nights in a row which provided for amazing photographs. I think I missed my calling to be a night time photographer because I’m really, really good at it.
The river had a boat parade [also known as a “floatilla” which I actually thought was called a “floatzilla” so that made me sound smart] and Maggie thought she was one of the judges.
We participated in the parade by sitting on the sidelines and drinking beer. We’re outdoorsy like that.
We capped off the weekend with my family and a good ole fashion cookout and hillbilly firework session. That’s translation for we sat in the driveaway and watched six .99 cents fireworks go off. It’s a glamorous life.
Hope you all had an equally exciting 4th and managed to not burn any houses down or catch your hair on fire. I’ve heard not so good news about what happens when you do that….
ps. In other noteworthy weekend news, I bought a new mug from Target. I’m totes diggin’ it and all of its lies.
