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5 Things I’d Rather Do Than Celebrate Halloween

October 31, 2013

By:

Erin Schrader

Excuse my hair. I had been swimming a lot that week. 

Halloween isn’t necessarily my holiday of choice. I think it’s the whole dressing up thing. I’d like to believe it was my lack of college experience that never instilled a strong desire to dress as a barely there cat woman or a nurse that really just looks she just needs nursing herself if you know what I mean. I knew college would have been good for something. However due to that and my lack of interest in spending ridiculous amounts of money on something I’ll never wear more than once (because I never ever do that with regular clothing..wink) I just don’t get into it. Which led me to this: “Things I’d rather do than celebrate Halloween”. Below are my top five. Let us begin. 

1. Eat Chipotle chips and salsa. Until somebody starts putting this in my trick-or-treat bag, I don’t need to knock on every neighbor’s door that I wouldn’t normally talk to asking for candy. Most of it ends up being tootsie rolls and those just get stuck in my teeth which in turn makes my tongue really tired. Save exhaustion and hand Chipotle out people. 

2. Prank call people. Screw smashing pumpkins. This is where the real fun lies. Plus it’s a lot less sticky. Pumpkin guts seem rather dramatic and hard to deal with. 

3. Watch Bridesmaids. I understand that watching movies which will make you poop your pants, hide under your bed, and make you believe that somebody is standing behind you with a knife is really fun and appealing, but no thanks. I prefer peeing my pants out of laughter, sleeping in my bed, and daydreaming about all things rainbows and butterflies. 

4. Make love. Halloween seems so un-lovey to me. Children if you are listening, making love is a lot more fun than not making love. Plus it’s a lot more effective in the caloric burn scale than consuming all those disgusting rolls of Smarties. Trust me. You’ll know what I am talking about in about twenty years. Make that thirty. Or fifty. Never mind. Abstinence forever youth of America. 

5. Go to a vineyard. Wine > Pumpkins. Amen and amen.  

So there we have it. What five things would you rather do than celebrate Halloween? Tell me by linking up below. I’m off to get dressed up, go trick-or-treating, and eat all of my nieces candy. What? I hate this holiday, they should too. 

ps. While on the subject of talking about things we dislike, lets bring our attention to blogger’s spacing problems. Why it assumes I want half of my post centered and the other half not centered is beyond me. I feel like blogger needs candy to make it happy. I mean chipotle. Definitely Chipotle.
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