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Dear Diary,

August 29, 2012


Erin Schrader

Hi Diary. It’s me again, your owner Erin.
You may remember me as Mariah or Jasmine.

I figured it’s been a few weeks since I last spoke to you last and I was starting to miss you.
You know what I miss even more though?
Late nights under the covers scribbling all of my dirty little secrets in you.
You sure were a good secret holder.
Were being the main word in that sentence.
I’ll never forget the day that my guy friends found you in 8th grade and nearly died from laughing so hard at all of my love banter.
Boys will never understand how serious 2nd grade love is diary, don’t take it personal.
Looking back, I should just be thankful I had friends who were boys.
Do we need to remind ourselves of how I looked back then?
Diary, I just posted that picture for the whole world to see.
Sometimes my brain doesn’t think logically.
You would think a small part of it would say “No. There is NO way you are putting that online.”
But nope, it says “the more ridiculous the better”.
I miss my old haircut.
I also miss my face being the same shade as kitchen cabinets.

Back to my friends finding you though diary.
I am pretty sure they found you around the same time I got grounded for the first time ever.
It was something about my mom walking up to our computer screen and seeing the screen saver scroll over and over with the words “Erin Haarer sucks hard nuts” What she didn’t know diary was that my friends wrote that AND it was in reference to me eating CASHEWS at a Chinese restaurant. Why she thought it meant anything but is beyond me!
I was only in 8th grade diary!!! 
You saw what I looked like. There is no was possible my mom thought that THAT kind of activity was happening with those bangs, I mean lets be real.

Come to think of it, I still don’t know any other meanings to the words “sucks hard nuts” besides eating cashews at a local Chinese restaurant.
Some people have such dirty minds diary.
We call those people immature.
And you know what we say to those people when they ask us where the nearest Chinese restaurant is? Bend over and I’ll show ya. Well, at least that’s what us mature people say to such questions.

Moving forward diary…I’m mad at Eve right now.
Because of her I am sitting here using a heating pad on my lap.
I mean really, how hard is it to not eat a freaking apple?! An apple I tell you!
Of course if macaroni and cheese was growing in that garden, sure I would understand why she caved to the temptation.
But an apple? No excuses.
Speaking of macaroni and cheese diary, I should’ve told you last time—I blog for free gifts.
I know some people say “Oh it’s just the self satisfaction knowing I am doing something that I truly enjoy..blah blah blah” but me? It’s all because of the freebies. Say for instance this kick ace shirt I just got in the mail from a beloved reader.
That diary is what makes blogging ALL worth it.

I can’t remember if there is anything else I needed to talk you about today.
I think I pinched a nerve or something in my neck writing this.
Icy hot, I am coming for you.
Why can’t we stay twelve forever diary?

Til next time….



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