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My Blog Is Such A Rebel.

May 18, 2012

By:

Erin Schrader

I am in one of those really random moods today.
I love random. Like really. I do.
The kind where your brain goes from there to here to over there and then back here again. Following?
Okay let’s be honest. My brain always functions this way.
Focus, I am looking for you. I have been told I can find you in a pill.

I have also been told that my blog is now blocked from places of employment for pornography.
I mean shoot, if I would have known it was going to get blocked for that I would’ve made it worthwhil, and not on a nude picture of me when I was 2 years old sitting in a bucket.

Anyhow, ya win some ya lose some.
Blog police-1 Erin-0.

Anyhow, in other news—Wendy’s is now serving macaroni and cheese.

I kid you not. I might have had a mini panic attack when I saw this.
Sweaty palms, racing heart beat, shortness of breath…wait.
What are we talking about?
Oh right, mac and cheese.
All you need to know is I think it’s fabulous. She thinks it is disgusting. Apparently somebody doesn’t appreciate fine dining.

What else is going on in my world right now you may ask?
Let me get back to you on that. I am currently fixated on my salt and vinegar chips.

Oh hey, one last thing—if you are into sports bras like I am, go buy this one at Old Navy.
It is the best and my ladies love it.

Just to clarify-I do not wear sports bras on the regular. Only when I am working out.
Okay, only when I am planning on working out but end up in the drive thru lane of Burger King instead. I now sound like the biggest fast food junkie out there. Which would be the truth.
I am changing that though. Starting tomorrow. Or next Friday. We’ll see.

Enough about me though. I have somebody with a little more brain in her cranium than I who wants your attention.
I am going to ask nicely to not act like a 3rd grade student a week before school is out.
Holy balls they are nuts.
Shoot.
I just realized why my blog was blocked for pornography.
Maybe I should stop using the term “holy balls” and “nuts” in the same sentence.
Probably not though.

Megan is one of the sweetest//cutest//I want to hug//people in blog land.
Don’t take my word for it though.
Find out for yourself.

******************************************************************
Hello friends and readers of Living in Yellow!  I’m Megan from AbsoluteMommy.  I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to be here today.  I’ve been blog stalking Erin for awhile… Sorry Erin!  I finally decided to stalk her openly by moving into her sidebar. 
It’s kind of what I do.
I’m sure you are wondering who AbsoluteMommy really is.  Let’s cut to the chase.  I started blogging a little over a year ago.  I write about whatever my hearts desire, but mostly about fumbling and stumbling through motherhood.  My motto is “I wasn’t built for motherhood.  It built me.  It’s a work in progress”.   
You will find that I blog about my marriage to this guy:
We’ve been married 7 years!
I’m lucky he puts up with my attitude!
I also blog about these cuties, and take an insane amount of photos of them to post to Instagram.  So if you’d like to follow me on Instagram, this is your warning!
This is Miss Mackenzie
This is Caitlin Elizabeth.
I have been known to post crafty stuff, but my tutorials always look like the photography from an 80s “b” movie.  Plus if I’m crafty it has to be easier than making a peanut butter sandwich.  I sometimes post a recipe or two and those are equally as easy, because if it’s more than 5 steps, mama don’t bother.
To give you an idea of what happens at Absolute Mommy, here is a excerpt of one of my favorite posts:
********
Reason I should get Mother of the Year – choose your favorite
Oreos for breakfast.
Typical on mornings where Twitter and Pinterest are far more interesting than Ming Ming and the damn phone that won’t stop ringing. For the love of God answer that phone!!! Oreos for breakfast when I’m trying to cook an actual breakfast and my two year old is literally trying to crawl up my body like a rat. Oreos for breakfast when I just need to wash my hair so the other moms at the gymnastics class think I’m well groomed and somewhat put together. Oreos for breakfast when I’m out of peanut butter cups.
I love McDonalds!
Fast Food was created for women who know how to cook but find other things to do. I love fast food and I can’t even eat it. What better way to say I love you than to present a meal that comes with a cool (albeit cheap) toy. McDonalds have saved the day on many occasion. I will not pass judgement on Ronald McDonald and his fortress of fat.
TV Rules!!
TV will not kill my child. It won’t destroy her brain or make it rot. My TV is on all day and I don’t feel bad about it. Both my children have had the benefit of learning Mandarin Chinese from our TV, so take that fancy preschool. 
We are learning shapes, numbers, and the alphabet. 
You can bet your donuts that your parents would have had the TV on 24hours a day if there was NickJr 30 years ago.  My kids have also watched Glee, Twilight, Family Guy, and Keeping up with the Kardashians. Kourtney Kardashian taught Caitlin where babies come from, and I will happily thank her.

********

So that is AbsoluteMommy.  If you’d like feel free to visit the following posts. 
Big Girls Don’t Cry – about my bout of PPD
Confirmation – where I talk about what all mamas need
Mom Revelations – fighting with my four year old
Keepin’ it Classy – Some rules to keep in mind while blogging
Yes we are – my recent rant to Time Magazine
You can also follow me on Twitter or on Facebook.  Although I must confess, I’m having a love affair with Twitter behind Facebook’s back.  Sorry Facebook, you’ve changed…
Thanks so much to Erin, for hosting me today.  I hope have liked what you read.  Stop by sometime and say hello.  I’m giving my honest opinion about my life and how I’ve gone from Megan to Mommy, in what seems like the blink of an eye!!  I’m taking low-maintenance mom to a whole new level!!

**********************************************************

And, I told you she is the best.
Go say hello.
Now.

I am off to fall asleep.
At 8:20 pm.
I need to stop being so awesome.

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