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Awkward And Awesome

January 18, 2012


Erin Schrader

I know I know, I’m a little overdue for one of these posts.
Pardon the absence of the Awkward/Awesome.
Sometimes, A&A asks to take a little break, and I must oblige.
But today friends…A&A is back and ready to attack.
Yes, I really just said that.

1. Passing a fellow co-worker in the hall and both of us simultaneously saying
“How are you”
No pauses or anything between sentences.
We were so in sync you couldn’t really hear the other one talking.
 It was very uncomfortable and mildly creepy.
 To appease the awkwardness, I quickly snuck into to the bathroom.
Because if you haven’t heard, bathrooms are the new place to hang out to avoid all awkwardness.

2. Taking pictures of strangers kids while waiting in line to check out at Kohls

{and then texting the picture to my husband}
Or at basketball games.

 Or heck, even at restaurants.

I am a little concerned I will wind up on Datelines To Catch A Predator, but so far so good.
You don’t want me taking pictures of your kids?
Don’t put them around me. Easy as that.

3. Talking to a fellow co-worker about his lactose intolerance issues.
And then asking “So do you eat eggs?!?”.
 Turns out eggs have nothing to do with being lactose intolerant and/or dairy.
Who knew.

4. As you may or may not know, I am a Call Girl during the day. Meaning I answer phones.
{But my “call girl” job at night…that’s another story} Kidding Mom. And Aunt. And Great Aunt.
Anyhow, I answered the phone the other day ready to assist and the only thing I hear on the other line is “OH MY GOSH…SMOKE IS IN MY KITCHEN AND THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF!!!!” “Ma’m, I think you should probably hang up the phone and take care of that…” “Oh no, it’s okay—I can keep talking, just don’t mind the alarm going off in the background..”
Needless to say, we  completed the reason for her call.
Whether she is alive or not today is another story.

5. Those moments when you are driving at night and see a sign on the side of the road which you SWEAR is a human being coming at you with a knife.
Jumping, screaming and then proceeding to yell “YOU STUPID STOP SIGN” always makes me feel a little well, ignorant. Or dumb. Or all like an idiot.
But seriously, stupid stop signs.

Who created you anyways?

6. Using my good ole’ Netti Pot first thing in the morning…and then watching the water come gushing out of my nose 12 hours later while eating dinner.
 I’ve got super power nostrils folks.
You try holding salt water in your nose for 12 hours.
Betcha can’t do it. Boo ya suckers.


1. Last week, 4 out of 7 nights we had dinner made for us by all different people. For no reason at all.
 I’m not gonna lie, I could get used to this kind of treatment. Thank you friends, parents, and sister.
Looks like I have some cooking to do. Unless you put up a fight, to which I will listen and allow you to break out your apron while I sit and consume a glass {or two} of wine while you work your magic.
Hypothetically speaking of course.

2. I love me some sparkly shoes.
Especially sparkly shoes that are ½ of what Toms cost.

You best believe I’m getting myself some from here.
“I’m feelin like a star you can’t stop my shine..”
Sing it feet, sing it.

3. The fact that I finally got my hair cut and colored.

The last time I got it done?
JULY people.
At what point exactly did I think it was a good idea to let my roots grow down to my ears?
It’s a miracle I still have friends. And a husband.

4. Scarves.

I may have a slight obsession.
More so with buying them.
Wearing them is fun occasionally, but buying..whoa baby.
Now that’s fun.

5. Nachos and cheese.

 Especially when you are sitting in the nose bleed section at a college basketball game like we were this past weekend.
 I’m pretty sure I paid more attention to the chips than the game but that’s beside the point.
Nachos and I go way back.

..And there you have it.
It feels good to have one of those babies written again.

Happy {Wednesday Eve} and Thursday Sweet Peas.

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