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Awkward & Awesome Thursday: Friday Style

April 14, 2011


Erin Schrader

Hopefully you are as excited about today as I am.
And no I am not just saying that because its A&A Day.
I am excited because it’s FRRIIIIDDAAAAAY.
And yes, I do find it necessary to type all those extra R, I, D, and A’s to get my point across.
But hey, if you are excited because it’s A&A day, you’ve come to the right place.

Got your reading pants on? Ready, set, GO.


1. So I have this tendency to walk really fast like I need to get wherever it is I am going in  point 10 seconds flat. This is efficient and all, until you start running smack dab into people on a regular basis. And then those same people start avoiding you in the hallway like the plague because they don’t feel like getting their face flattened for the day.
That’s right..I flatten faces. Psych.


2. Breast-feeding…with no cover…in church. And no, I wasn’t the one performing this awkward act in front of others. Thankfully my puppy weaned off that a couple years ago (Kidding people). But seriously-keep your ladies covered.
God doesn’t need to see those things and neither do I 😉

3. The way I constantly chime in on conversations I am eavesdropping on. I stupidly open my mouth way too often, realizing after the fact that the two people sitting next to me were not asking me the question, so that answer I just provided (albeit the correct answer) was not very welcome. Umm, yes I just said the word albeit.
Chalk one up for my smart skills today.
 (I have to brag about this to make up for telling the cashier yesterday that I wanted to buy the pint, not the quart, because the pint has more in it).
I mean really, why would I keep silly knowledge like measurements in my head after I graduate?

4. The name Dorcas. Trying to put some fancy spin on how to pronounce it doesn’t help the case either like I tried to do. It only creates cringe worthy moments when you hear the correct pronunciation coming out of their mouths. Needless to say, I will be praying for their parents for they know not what they’ve done to their poor child.
5. So the other morning was fabulous when leaving for work. The sun was shining, it felt warm, and yup, fabulous. So I decided that this little fact needed to be celebrated. So that’s what I did, I celebrated by rolling down my car window, shot my arm through to the open air outside fully extended palm facing up, and yelled “Its a beaaaauuutiful day!!!!!”. I turn my head and what do I see? Oh just my neighbor standing in his drive way. Right next to mine. Witnessing his psycho neighbor girl who acts like she has never seen the sunshine in her life. No big deal. This was then followed up with another neighbor of mine walking in her garage with nothing but a robe on and the biggest deer in the headlight eyes I’ve ever seen once eye contact was made. All this being said, it was an interesting start to the day folks.

6. Those incredibly awkward moments when somebody knows you and you have no idea who they are. And don’t you dare think you can say the words “I’m sorry but who are you again?” So instead, you carry on a 10 minute conversation while your mind is racing with every possible reason you should know this person. More awkward yet? When you are the initiator of the conversation because of an innocent compliment you just paid them-the “complete stranger”. This happened to me the other day, I giggled and shook my head for roughly 5 minutes after the conversation ended in complete disbelief at what just unfolded before my eyes. It’s a good thing I ended the conversation with “Well..it was so good to see you! We’ll have to catch up again!” Ha. If only I knew who I was catching up with


1. Sitting at your desk with a pen in your mouth while typing. For whatever reason it makes me feel so much more professional. Try it, you’ll feel legit. Fair warning: put the side without the ink in your mouth. Wiping ink off your tongue takes away the professionalism feel.

2.  I was having a phone conversation at work with an angry member who was spewing off curse words at me. Instead of shouting the cuss words back at her like I normally would do
(I kid, I kid) I continued to be my sweet charming little self. Ha. Anyhow-mid cuss word she starts off on another tangent (still yelling) and shouts “OKAY WHAT THE HECK..YOU ARE BEING SO NICE TO ME RIGHT NOW, I DON’T GET IT!” It was funny. And a wee little bit gratifying. Don’t try to be mean to me chicka-dee, my kindness will end up biting ya in the booty.

3. My lunches have been off the charts lately. Like honestly, my stomach gets butterflies thinking about them. Why? I’ve been able to exercise outdoors alongside a body of water which instantly transforms me to believing I am on vacation, I’ve gotten to talk to random street walkers about the awesomeness of the weather we are experiencing, and a bloggy friend of mine honked at me. This blog has officially lived up to its purpose-it caused a car honk. Boo yah. Thank you car honking friend for the extended smile you gave me.

4. Bonfires. Especially ones on a Tuesday night with just me & my hunny (okay, and decaf coffee with a bowl of ice cream). It was magical. I would say sorry you weren’t there to experience it, but that would be a lie. I’m glad you weren’t. Hehehe.
5. Speaking of ice cream, THE CHIEF OPENED YESTERDAY. That is for all you locals who will appreciate the significance of what those four words mean. Anybody want to start a chief club with me? Peanut butter ice cream every Wednesday night with a group of ya’ll? Yes please. I’m envisioning each of us will dress in a different color of ice cream (pink=strawberry, brown=chocolate), we’ll stand single file in line, and will look like a giant ice cream cone to bystanders. Each of us a different flavored scoop, how cool is that?
Please be a scoop in my cone. Thanks.
6. I learned something new and vital this week, all while on the job. Not often you learn something new at work right? Well guess what, I learned how to shoot a rubber band. Watch out folks. I’m not afraid to show off my new skill. Seriously, please don’t be jealous of my talent or maturity level. I was blessed with this stuff.

7.  The point in the Name Game & Cookie Jar song where you get to yell a new person’s name. For example..”Couldn’t be. Then who?! ERIN!..Erin stole the cookies..” I sincerely hope you get what I am saying right now. I rediscovered this awesome jig this morning. Now go play both games and go crazy when you get to shout a new name for the round to continue. Just don’t use Chuck for the name game. You’ll end up sounding like the girl cussing mentioned in number 2. Thanks father for that lesson.

8. The terrific response I’ve received for the clothes drive thus far. Read this if you don’t know what I’m talking about. You guys amaze me. The date will be announced soon.
Stick around.

Happy weekend peeps.

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