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“I Used To Read Your Blog”

July 24, 2015


Erin Schrader

In effort to prevent more and more people saying “oh your blog? yeah I used to read it! remember when it was funny and stuff? so what happened?” I figured I should do something crazy and write a post. Also, that conversation happens semi-regularly so that’s cool. I then punch their face and say “remember when your face used to look normal? because it did. so what happened?” It always ends well.*

So what’s new you ask? Well for starters, remember here when I mentioned I joined the Fitbit club? One day after writing that I lost said Fitbit meaning I owned the thing for a total of 4 days. Thankfully their customer service is freaking fantastic (buy a Fitbit just to lose it and see what I mean!) and they ended up sending me a brand new one. All of that to say I am now working out again because apparently you can’t workout if you don’t have a Fitbit. I apologize if you didn’t know that until now, you should probably become the monkey emoticon with its hands over its eyes, because wow – embarrassing. I also apologize for just saying Fitbit 5 times in one paragraph. Fortunately each mention is an affiliate link to Amazon so that will probably roll in a solid 11 cents to go towards dinner this weekend. BLOGGING IS SO LUCRATIVE SOMETIMES. 
Speaking of being lucrative, lets talk about what I’ve been eating. And no I don’t mean the fried chicken I had for lunch. I’m talking about the freaking Edwards Key Lime Pie every single day of my life. I forget if I already talked about this before, but if I have – I’m sorry. If I haven’t – I’m sorry. You’ll now be eating it every day too. 
Unfortunately Amazon doesn’t sell key lime pie. 
Lets see what else. OH! Our local fair starts tomorrow so bring on the elephant ears and country concerts. I’ll be singing my heart out to Cole Swindell [and trying to ignore his douchey CS hat he always wears] and Montgomery Gentry. Obviously the real reason I’m excited is because I get to wear country-ish looking clothes so that’s fun. I just picked up this little lace tank from my favorite for the festivities. 
Here’s a fun fact – I was born with a dent in my leg. See that thing up above? Always been there, always will be. I’m not really sure what my leg scraped up against when inside my mom’s uterus or wherever I was but she should probably get that checked out. I may have fallen off my bed in the last couple of years and landed on a dresser knob that brought the dent more to life. Unfortunately I’m not kidding. It was a weird way to wake up, let me tell you. Typically I use the wrinkle remover on my best friend picmonkey.com to remove that but ain’t nobody got time for that right now. Long live the dent! 
I think that concludes today’s blog post. All things you never needed to know and now you do. Congratulations, you’ve just earned yourself nothing. I take that back. Enjoy that key lime pie. You’re welcome.

*I have never punched a face in my life nor will I ever. I am the world’s largest coward and would pee in a corner if somebody tried to come after me. 

ps. I haven’t had wine in like 3 days. I KNOW. 

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