my glamour shot

That mom of mine is all over my fur again. She keeps saying things like “get off the couch and go on a walk with me” and “gross! Maggie stop licking me you! your breath is awful!” and then sometimes when she gets really mad at me she says things like “If you wake me up one more time during the night I promise I will never buy you a baby brother or sister!!” Except for her she has no idea I don’t even want one so that’s why I keep waking her up at night. Jokes on her.

For crying out loud she acts like the only thing I do anymore is sit around eating hot dogs and begging for belly rubs. 

I’ve never done either. 

Anyhow, it’s been really annoying because my mom thinks she has to “work out” these days. This means that I have to too. What she doesn’t understand is that I would rather lay under her and daddy’s bed and sleep like all of my friends do. Mom tells me I won’t get a boyfriend this way. Except again, she has no idea I don’t want a boyfriend because according to conversations I overhear from her is that men prohibit how much money you get to spend at Target. I love when she spends money on me at Target. Especially when she buys me food. 

Speaking of, my mom told me this past weekend I am being enrolled in a challenge. Sounds like work to me, I don’t know if I like it. However, she says my eyes will get brighter, I will have more energy [barf], and my breath won’t smell so bad. I guess I’m okay with the whole breath thing, even sometimes I gag from it. She said it’s called the Purina One 28 Day Challenge. Supposedly by the end of the 28 days I am going to have all the men flocking after me. Little does she know my milkshake already brings all the boys to the yard. Or in this case, beach. 

I’m just hoping the paparazzi will let me sleep still after I look so good from the challenge. 

Another thing I have overheard my mom say from time to time is “it’s more fun when a party is involved” so I guess now I want to invite my other dog friends to join me in this Purina One 28 Day challenge. I was even told you will get $3 off your bag of food for your little [or in most cases compared to me, big one]. All you have to do is sign up here and then a coupon will be given to you. Here’s the stuff she bought me. I liked it so much I ate it all over the carpet. She didn’t like that part so I told her “pick her battles” like she tells my dad. She shut up then. 

Okay you little bloggy heads [that’s what my mom calls you behind your backs], I’ve gotta go lick some more faces, eat some more food on the carpet, and come up with a prize that I’m going to ask for from my mom when I finish this challenge. Wish me luck. I’m off to get beautiful.