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The Post Where I Show Off My Stomach In Saran Wrap.

June 14, 2012


Erin Schrader

Oh Friday, I am so happy to see your cute little face.
It seems like it’s been a long time comin’ this week.
Apparently the shock of going back to work for a full week will do that to you.
Frickin’ shocks. I prefer three day weeks thank you.
Well lets see, what does Erin want to blog about today?
Great question.
For some silly reason it’s hard to find inspiration when the only thing I have talked about for the past hour is whether or not we should have a garage sale this weekend.
I take that back–I did also share with my husband that I swear I saw a detached single leg laying on the street today when I was driving. Nothing but a single leg limb with jeans and a sneaker on it.
And I had to drive around it people.
He doesn’t believe me.
I mean c’mon. Why would there not be a single leg lying in the middle of a highway?
My point exactly.
So now that you are throwing up in your mouth, I should probably move on to other stuff.
I got a body wrap the other night. Something I swore I would never do.
Which proves my life motto to be true: never say never.
Have you guys done this? You take this lotiony piece of paper and apply it to some place on your body that you magically want to lose a few inches. And then to make the whole process seem ten times more jacked up, you get saran wrapped.
The last time I got Saran wrapped was at a frat party on my 21st birthday.
That’s a joke. It was my 22nd birthday.
Again, a joke.
It looked like this.
Yes, I just showed you a picture of my fat hanging over my yoga pants saran wrapped.
Again, never say never.
They say I lost 1 1/4 inches. I tried to find it in the Saran wrap but never saw it so obviously they were lieing to me. Whatevs. I would do it again just so I could hear my 2 year old niece tell me over and over again to stop being naked. Like she doesn’t run around in a diaper all day long. Please.
Enough about me though, I have somebody who would never show you a picture of her stomach saran wrapped for you today. As in she has class and tact. Must be nice.
She is beautiful, fashionable, funny, skinny, and yeah, one of those girls you would love to hate but can’t. Bre, take it away fabulous.

Hi everybodyyy. I’m Breanne. My family calls me Beener (in a completely not-racist way). But most people call me Bre. I’m extremely tall (does 5’11 call for the ‘extremely’?) and I wear heels a lot so count me in at 6’3. I am blonde in every sense of the word. Except maybe bimbo. I wouldn’t consider myself a bimbo. Wait…yeah no. I wouldn’t. Moving on. My life is centered around four things and they all happen to begin with the letter ‘F’. Faith, Family, Friends, Fashion. In that order. I have a wonderful family. One ginger mother, one black-haired father, two older sisters (one blonde, one ginger), one baby brother (brunette), one brother-in-law (brunette), and one niece (ginger/brunette). I don’t know why I told you all their hair colors. It just sort of happened and I couldn’t stop. Forgive me.

I blog about whatever I want. Mostly things that I love or funny things that happen to me. And some prettttyyyy funny things have happened to me. (Like that one time I ordered a Wendy’s Frosty at McDonalds. Or that time someone took my pictures and put dinosaur heads on me). I wouldn’t consider myself a “Fashion Blogger” but, as you can see, I post my outfits from time to time. And one day I’ll be a clothing stylist. But currently I work as an personal assistant. I also blog for a swimwear company and intern for a local clothing stylist. It’s a lot of blogging I tell you. But I love writing (almost more than I love fashion, but that’s for another day). Here are some things you need to know if you want to be a member of my blog. JK. You can be a member even if you don’t know these things.
My sarcasm offends some people and you may not understand my humor at first. But someday you might. I’m a firm believer in lipstick. My hair is up 90% of the time. I’m a huge outfit repeater. If I wear something and no one important sees me that day, duh, I’m going to wear it again the next day. If you don’t like girls that wear leggings as pants, turn back now. I wear leggings as pants almost every single day of my life and I am far from ashamed of it. I say JK a lot on my blog for some reason. I can’t really figure it out, but I’m not that sorry about it. I’m obsessed with anything gold. I cannot wait to be a mother someday. I love sports, mainly football. I talk a LOT about my brother. And a LOT about my niece. But I’m not sorry about that either. If they were yours you’d talk about them too. I sing to my steering wheel and when I think no one is listening. And sometimes when people force me to in public. I hate roses. That’s completely irrelevant. I just thought I’d tell you in case you wanted to send me flowers (Calla Lilies) someday. Actually, all of this is pretty irrelevant. So I’ll stop now. Hope to see you over on my end!


Go follow Bre. Seriously. She is one of my favorites.
I am off to go finish this conversation on why we should(nt) have a garage sale.
It’s an exciting life people.
Peace out.

PS. Congratulations to Dana for winning $20 shop credit to Acute Designs. Woop Woop.


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