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Dear Erin,

March 6, 2012


Erin Schrader

The time has come and I couldn’t be any more excited.
As you may {or may not know} today marks the beginning of my new series:
Dear Erin,
My hopes is that this series will happen every Tuesday from now til’ eternity.
I know, fat chance since my previous “series” have lasted a month.
Maybe two depending how good of an idea it was.
So anyhow–here is the deal.
The goal of this series is to get YOU the reader to ask me a question {Dear Abby style}
and then I can answer it in true Living In Yellow style.
Today, I have three lovely readers who have submitted questions.
Lets jump in and take care of business shall we?
Oh and just a side note-
I found out yesterday from a dear hater of this blog that I am not “cute enough” to give out advice.
Sorry people.
Ugly or not, I am giving out advice.
More on that brilliant comment tomorrow though…
Lets do this thang.
Dear Erin,
Is it bad that I have shopped bargain stores and the clearance rack my whole life and think that $20 is too much to pay for a normal t-shirt?
$20 Dolla Make You Holla {aka Hannah}

Dear $20 Dolla Make You Holla,
Let me tell you what a problem would be—
If you spent MORE than $20 on a “normal” t-shirt.
Let me tell you why.
If a “normal” t-shirt has a price tag of $20 or more it means one {or all} of the following:

1.It is hand wash only.
Which really means “buy this shirt—wear it a couple of times—never wash it because who in the world knows how to hand wash—and then retire the shirt because it now smells and/or has armpit stains”
2. It has sequins or some type of glitter all over it that will end up Lord knows where.
 It is an awkward moment when you get taken for a stripper.
Not that I would know or anything…
3. It has bows on it.
Bows that you will have to be smart enough to know how to tie properly.
Clearly a daunting task if your bow tying abilities are anything like mine. 
4. It is made out some type of expensive material
{ie: lambs wool, cashmere, goat thread, etc}.
This will most likely make you break out in allergic reaction which will send you to the ER.
Combine your ER bills with the price of shirt, and you have one hefty unnecessary expense.
So no, you do not have a problem.
 It is everybody else who looks all fancy that has a problem.
Stick to plain ole’ cotton.
Your life will be much less complicated.
And less expensive.
And a lot less itchier.
Dear Erin,
How come frogs don’t have hair? I mean seriously…poor little things!! I think they should have hair! Not all over their body just at the top of their head like we do.
Not long either, just a neat and well managed hair style, even a military cut would work.
Maybe you can help.
All I Think About Is Frog Hair
{aka Teresa}
Dear All I Think About Is Frog Hair,
What do you mean frogs don’t have hairstyles?
This little guy was sitting next to me at my hair appointment yesterday.
I had to take a picture of that little cutie and it’s nice little hairdo just for you.

No but really, if you haven’t seen any frogs at your local hair salon, this is what I recommend.
Buy a chia pet.

This way you can have full control over frogs and their hairstyles.
You want it to have a mullet? Make it have a mullet.
What about a nice little bob? Give it a bob.
You make that frog beautiful girlfriend.
But keep your eye open at your next hair appointment.
You may be surprised to see who is sitting next to you.
Dear Erin,
This has been a burning desire of mine to know the answer to for my entire life.
Or at least since I learned how to spell my name.
Why do people always think my name is Laura or Lauren, even when I spell my name out for them or even after I’ve worked with them for several years? It’s mind-boggling.
Say My Name, Say My Name
{aka Laurel}

Dear Say My Name, Say My Name,
You poor thing.
There are two major factors playing against you.

1. America is a an awfully assuming bunch.
We assume we know it all.
Especially when it comes to your name.
You say Laurel, all we hear is Laura because well, we assume that’s what you said.

2. We not only assume things, we listen to our Ipods at volumes that should be considered illegal.
Thus resulting in us not being able to hear what you are saying in the first place.
We see your mouth move, but those words that are coming out?
Totally didn’t hear it.
So when you mouth say “Laurel” we see Lauren.

Here is what I recommend to get this traumatic problem fixed.
The next time somebody asks you your name, simply respond with:
“Bend over and I’ll show ya”
That’s all you have to say and trust me, you will have their attention.
This will cause them to stutter and then ask you to repeat yourself.
At which time, you can drop your real name on them like a bomb.
Believe you me, they will get your name correct from that point on.
Easy as that.

And there you have it.
Dear Erin, round one: Complete.

Wanna get it on the fun?
Email me your question at livinginyellow@gmail.com
I will do my best to help you solve all of lifes problems.
Or at least help try to figure out why frogs don’t have hair…

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