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Watermelon Booty, Me In A Bikini, Etc..

September 15, 2011


Erin Schrader

Hi there pretty bits of oats.
So I started this post out with the full intent of doing the usual “Awkward & Awesome” thing.
That was until I had a much better idea.
{Thank you brain, as much as I complain about you–you really can be a gem sometimes}
you are most likely squirming in your pants in anticipation about why my post is titled what it is.
While I am sure you had high hopes of me spilling my guts about how I got butt implants that now make my booty look like a watermelon is packed in the back
{think Kim Kardashian for a moment}
that is not the case.
Waaaaaah I know.

However, I am here to display a nice picture of me in a bikini.
I would never do that.

Ya, totally wouldn’t do that.
{Thank you photographer for being just far enough away that you can’t actually see the wobbly mess}

So what am I actually getting at right?
Apparently if you are on Google and search for things such as
 “Watermelon Booty
 “Me in a bikini
and several others including but not limited to:
 “full coverage panties for dancing
day in the life of an elementary school counselor
strange facial expressions photos
you will stumble your way onto my blog.
People help me-
are these really the types of things I am making you precious people read?
My sincerest apologies.
{except not really about the full coverage panty post while dancing…I kinda liked that}
So you may be wondering how I know all of this…
Besides magically knowing everything
{because I totally have that super power…can I get an “amen” ladies}
I have a friend.
A friend I love very much called Statcounter.
And if you have a blog, you must use Statcounter.
It will tell you everything you need to know-all hour, every hour.
How many people are visiting-
where they are visiting from-
how long they stay on your page-
what exact pages they view while on your blog-
what people type into Google that lands them on your blog-
blah blah blah.

{I just realized this is all very boring if you don’t have a blog…oops, sorry Charlies}

This is perfect for spotting traffic coming from another blog and you think
“Hmmm….how did people find my blog from there?!”
so you click on it and you get something like this:
And then you are all like
“Ahhhhh….yes that makes perfect sense why I got traffic from that amazeballs of a blog”
So there you have it friends-
a tip to help ya’ll out.
Don’t say I never gave ya anything…

PS. Do not be surprised if you do start using Statcounter and you find yourself checking it every 13 seconds.
I would never do that but I bet there are some crazies out there that do 😉
What one blogging device can you not live without?
Do tell.
I clearly need more things in my life to be fixated on.
Come back tomorrow to link-up your joyful pictures…
And a little story about how I made a fool out of myself at the grocery store this week.
It involves pee and biting the dust.
Happy Day Lovers.

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