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Awkward & Awesome Thursday

May 19, 2011


Erin Schrader

Welcome, welcome.
Glad you came πŸ™‚
I alllmooossst skipped out on writing this little post so that I could go indulge in Chipotle & Chick-fil-a tonight. Yes, that’s right, I was going to eat both. Judge. I dare you.
But then I realized I would be 10 pounds heavier and regret my lack of post in the morning.
So, here I am.
A pork chop with a bowl of mac & cheese later, primed and ready to write.
1. So the other week somebody asked me how our trip to PepsiCola Beach was.
And they were dead serious.
You would never guess what her favorite drink is…
Friends, it is Pensacola Beach.
Unless you have a drinking problem, then I suppose it is PepsiCola.
2. The fact that now I am officially known as “the awkward girl”.
I have friends, co-workers, family, and husbands of women that I don’t even know point out awkward situations to me all the time ever since this little bloggy was born.
 Like I actually need reminded of all the awkward situations in my life..I get it people.
Just one question though-did ya’ll forget that this post is equally awesome as it is awkward?
Try that one on for size.
Ha, I act like I know what that term even means.
Pretty sure I got my point across with it though πŸ™‚
3. So you may recall this Life List that I wrote a few weeks back.
Well my ever so witty father thought it would be a good idea to approach my 70+ year old relative who reads my blog and say
“So…what’d ya think about Erin wanting to be naked on a beach for a day!??!” while I am in earshot distance of the conversation.
Clearly he couldn’t have pointed out the 99 other items on the list such as mentor a child, host a tea party, or travel to Greece.
Thank you father for calling attention to my desire to be nakey to our relatives.
You’re a gem =)
4. Speaking of my father. Please look at his hand.
No, he is not bending his fingers to appear that way. They really are just that crooked.
And yes, his nail looks like it may fall off any day now.
Lord, please do not allow me to inherit these beauties when I’m older.
It’s okay father-your Feather Head {translation: White, soft hair} is truly beautiful and will never be made fun of.
Love you daddio-crooked fingers and all.
5. So if you are fluent in Filipino, you will know what the term “putanginamo” means.
And if you aren’t, let me fill you in. It stands for a little something called Mother {next word starts with an F and ends with an “er”. It is a word I refuse to say, at least in English that is}. The reason I know this word is because I used to work with a woman from the Philippines and it was common practice at our old work place to constantly yell “PUTANGINAMO” to one another. All innocent of course because if it is isn’t in your native language, it doesn’t really mean anything correct? Correct…
Unless you go to a party that is chocked full of Filipino’s and the first thing you shout {literally, shout} when you walk thru the front door is “PUTANGINAMO!!!!”
As soon as the word was out and the room fell to a silent hush, I realized what I had just done. Every single one of them knew the term, and knew darn well what it meant.
Nothing gets a baby shower started quite like a little profanity.

1. We hit over 15,000 page views this week on this little blog. Woooop Wooop.
I think that calls for a celebration of sorts.
Thank you beloved readers who come back time & time again.
Or thank you to the one individual who has accidently went to my page 15,000 times.
Either way, you are special.

2. Cotton Eyed Joe.
Act like your knees don’t immediately start going up & down and your head does a little bouncie move the minute it comes on.

3. Ooooh, this one event I have coming up-a little thing I like to call CMA Fest.
Which is to be held in one of the coolest places on earth-Nashville, TN
4 days straight of non-stop country music with my two best friends, cowboy boots & cute dresses, dancing, you name it, CMA Fest will have it.
Can. Not. Wait.
Although I am a little nervous. 
 Pretty sure I am going to be meeting Keith Urban. He is going to want to leave Nicole and marry me-blah blah blah.
Same story, just a different day.

4. Your mom.
Ha, had to say it.
Like seriously, I am too mature for this blogging stuff.

5. This little video:

Absolutely Precious.
Go do something similar with your lover today.
Except don’t YouTube it.

Well friends, I’m outta here.
I’ve got some dancin to go do in my kitchen.

Peace out pickle heads.

…Yes I just called you a pickle head. I mean it in the most sincere way possible.

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