Is it bad that I feel like I have had a lot more awkward moments lately than awesome?
Nah, I didn’t think so either.
I’m going to try to make this short and to the point..
Good joke I know.
Ready to roll? Here we go…
Awkward
1. Remember these?
Yup, you got it-the butcher shop panties. I decided to wear these fancy little things yesterday…I’ll tell you what, these girls don’t like to be kept a secret. Instead of staying in my pants like a good girl should, she decided to have one of her strings hang out the back of my pants…all day long. Ya see, I had felt something every so often during the day but I assumed it was a piece of thread just hanging out. Oh no, it wasn’t until my 4:45 pm bathroom break that I found out what the true culprit was. Co-workers, I now will never feel bad for not telling you that something is sticking out of your nose. Wanna see?
2. {So I know I just posted this yesterday on my Guest Post, but I thought I should share it directly on my blog.}
Babysitting a goldfish for your best friend…and losing it. You read it correctly. I lost my best friends goldfish. After searching through every kitchen cupboard, toilet seat, and mattress, I cut my losses and wrote a little note. Nothing says “welcome back from vacation” quite like this:
3. Two things you need to know about my childhood {this may or may not explain why I turned out the way I did}..Back in the day I feasted on two things.
Rabbit turds and my sisters toes.
Did I just make you throw up a little bit in your mouth? Don’t worry, I did too.
My ever so sweet sister thought it was a funny idea to tell me that rabbit turds were kernels of burnt popcorn laying in the grass. Because really, who can turn down burnt popcorn that has pieces of grass stuck to it? And the whole sucking toes thing-she told me to.
So, I did what every little sister does, I sucked um.
Lesson learned: Obedience is a pile of crap {in your mouth}.
Awesome
1. Husband has a new love. Her name is Angry Birds {not a really cute name if you ask me, but hey whatever he likes..} Why is this awesome? I no longer have to feel little twinges of guilt while I am sitting here typing to all you folks. His girlfriend keeps him entertained for hooouuuurrssss (and hours & hours). Unfortunately I think she is cheating on him with millions of other people around the world. Shhh…we won’t tell him.
I would hate to hurt his ego like that.
Really hunny? You could do muuuuch better 😉
2. Peanut Butter & Georgia Peach ice cream…together. Oh baby, please try it.
And then tell me how madly in love you fell with it. Words can’t describe the joy it will bring to your little taste buds.
3. I’ve got a slew of lovely ladies that are going to be showing their faces on here over the next couple of days. You don’t want to miss it. Be nice to them, k?
Okay, I’m off…I’ve got thaaaaaaaaaaaaangs to do.
And there is a lot of excitement packed into that word thaaaaaang.
More on that later though.
Eyelids are shutting in…three..two…one.