Where do I begin? First, we could start by talking about the vaginal yeast infection twitter party that was just blowing up my feed. I get that I talk about some weird stuff from time to time on these internets, but I’m somewhat hoping that if I ever have one of those yeast infections I’ll maybe not want to throw a party around it. Actually I take that back, I’ll most likely totally throw a party for it. YOLO.
Here’s what else is weird right now in mind [believe me, there is a lot]:
– People who don’t consume cheese for every meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner baby, any way I can get it I’ll take it.
– The thoughts in your head [and mine] after my “any way I can get it I’ll take it” comment
– Men’s gymnastics outfits.
– Babies spit up. One minute they are sitting there all cute-like and you’re snuggling their little cheeks and then something inside their stomach explodes and BAM. White milk curds all over your face. What causes the explosion? The cheek cuddles? The goochie goos?
you know exactly what he is thinking..”wait for it, wait for it..”
– Shopkins and everything associated with them. Their names, their shapes, their YouTube videos, everything just screams perverted man who must have invented them and yet, I still feed my nieces addictions something fierce.
[side note: can you tell that I babysat today]
– The amount of pictures on my phone that are of me standing in front of a mirror. Sharing your outfits with the internet will absolutely make you look like the most conceited person on the planet should a stranger get their hands on your photo roll. Oh hi, it’s me! Wearing clothes! Snap!
– When you feel like you have nothing to do anymore because the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is over. You know you have a shopping problem when….
– Forgetting to eat lunch. This happened to me last week and I started to question my existence. But truly, why be here if you can’t be eating things like cheese and cheese?
– When you realize that humans can grow corn in their backyard, not just farmers in their fields. Tell me you didn’t know that right?!?! IT’S MIND BLOWING. At least my mind was blown last week when I found out.
– Peeing for more than one minute at a time. This only happens in public, typically the more people in the restroom the longer the flow goes. I don’t get it. If anybody understands this and baby stomach explosions, speak up.
– When the little kindergarten girl who you met when you were working in your first career is now a senior in high school and you realize the moral of the story is that you’re just old. TIME STOP IT. I get it, now shut up.
And that wraps up the the list of things that are weird right now. You’re welcome for this very beneficial blog post.