It’s time to bring it back kids. If you have followed this blog for more than 3 years [bless you and I’m sorry] you may remember this whole awkward/awesome series I used to do on Thursdays. Turns out many of you must have liked it because when I put out my poll for what type of blog posts you would like to see more of in 2016, awkward and awesome took a close first against home decor and fashion on a dime. Today I’m here to appease the masses and whip out my first awkward and awesome post for the new year. I’m hoping I remember how to do this but I make no promises. Just know that while I haven’t been publicly documenting my awkward moments they continue to happen daily. Really secondly. That means every second in case you are confused. Okay, lets do this.
1. I made a small mention of this back in June when it happened, but my grandpa decided to get married this past summer. We were all minding our own mint eating/decaf coffee drinking business when my niece comes running inside from the playground yelling something to the extent of “I’VE GOT A SKID IN MY PANTS!” Fortunately I think most people in attendance were old enough to be convinced that she actually meant a skid loader got lodged up into her panties, but my sister and I rushed off to the bathroom with her to find a giant turd just hanging out in her pants. The best part of all? She let it out prior to going down the slide so you can imagine what the end result was. “I thought it was just a little skid but it was a giant skid!” were the words on repeat from that little girls mouth – we ended the wedding by throwing her little panties away in the trash to which she decided to announce to the gang “I’m just like Aunt Erin now!” while simultaneously shoving her head up my dress. Awesome.
2. Speaking of going commando – being without anything underneath, wearing a dress and falling up the stairs in the children’s play section of an aquarium. Totally happened to me this Summer. Adults were around. Everything was on display. And cue the oops.
4. Receiving an email from a brand that wants to partner on baby products because “we thought this would be great for expectant parents like yourself…” You realize what this means right? Even pregnancy results are electronic these days, no pee stick test necessary. That’s right. The internet gets a hold of your uterus and knows when you are with child. Freaked me the heck out too. I can’t wait to break the news to my husband. Crap. Knocked up, alone and 29. I can see it all happening now.
4. In approximately one hour I’ll be billionaire. Make it rain baby, make it rain.