1. The several experiences I have had recently with people (strangers) burping aloud–while getting gas at the pump next to me, during the middle of a phone conversation, or simply right in front of my face. And then after it happens, they don’t even excuse themselves. Am I the only one to find this situation very awkward? Maybe I am just disgusted. Oh America the Beautiful, we sure are full of charmers aren’t we :)?
2. At work I do a pretty darn good job of going nearly the whole day without wearing any shoes. Most of the time I have sockies on, but with the near 40 degree temps we’ve been having, I have gone sock less a few days. On one of those lucky days I managed to step directly onto a chocolate chip that had made its way on the floor (it might have been from the cookie I was eating, who knows). I proceeded to smear that chocolate chip all over my khaki pants. I then had to share with others how that chocolate got all over my pants. For some reason, people react strangely when telling them you had a chocolate chip smeared all over the bottom of your bare foot..at work. I don’t get it.
3. This past weekend I had the pleasure of seeing many family members at my niece’s birthday party. I was informed that most of my relatives are now avid blog readers of mine. While this is awesome, I suddenly realized that they all now know that my husband smacks my booty, I was days away from my period, and that I fist pump while driving.
4. Having a gift bag sitting at my desk and a friend of mine walks up (who happened to have had a birthday a couple days before) and yells “Shut up!! You did not have to do that! Oh my gosh girl, you totally shouldn’t have!” Well guess what..I didn’t have. The gift was not for them. Try talking yourself out of that one. On the bright side I won an award, a worst friend of the year award. It’s not like they had just gotten me a birthday gift or anything the week before. Oh that’s right, they had.
5. Saying to somebody “Oh my gosh, did you hear that….(fill in the blanks with something you can’t wait to tell the person & slightly exaggerate along the way). And then have that person tell you “Umm, I told you that. And that part you said about (insert exaggerated part )…wasn’t how it was.” Busted. Except I would never exaggerate a story, that was just hypothetically speaking of course.
6. This past week I was doing some grocery shopping and noticed a mother who happened to be a midget. She was standing in the cart while her husband pushed her along. While checking out, they passed again and my cashier yells “Oh my gosh..did you see that?!? SHE WAS AN ADULT!! I thought she was a little kid standing in there. HOLY COW SHE IS SHORT!!!” What exactly do you say in response to that while others are observing your response? I did what I know to do. Exit immediately.
7. On that same shopping trip I decided to do a little experiment. I had just bought a headband and thought I would give it a try. So I thought, I’ll wear it grocery shopping and see people’s reactions to know if it looks good or not. Sure enough, I pass a little girl and her jaw drops as if she had a 10 pound gumball in that mouth of hers. I’m pretty confident she thought I was a 4 yr old trapped in a 24 yr olds body. Thank you little girl for reminding me that I should always get an adults opinion before going in public.
Little girl was right, headbands look much cuter on a 1 yr old.
8. Mixing two words together to create a totally awkward experience. Like when you are trying to say home & octagon at the same time (because I’m always trying to say those two words at the same exact time) and you spit out homo. On the phone none the less, to somebody you don’t really know all that well. It creates awkward giggles.
9. The constant cheek twitch I had going on a little while back. Talking to people in public while half of my face jumped and down is slightly uncomfortable.
10. Noticing a shirt in a store with a friend and pointing out how unpretty you think it is. Then that friend tells you they bought it recently. They don’t really believe you when the next sentence out of your mouth is “I was totally kidding, I think its so cute..I just wanted to get your reaction because I wasn’t sure if you would think it’s cute too!”
1. So last week I mentioned how Shawn likes to talk in his sleep. While this week was no protecting us from wild bear attacks, he did manage to tell me in the middle of the night to “Come over on this side of the bed..where it isn’t so cold.” This would’ve been very sweet if 1-He knew he was saying it and 2-I wasn’t already laying in a pile of sweat. Regardless it produced a good laugh the next morning.
2. The yogurt chunks in Special K’s Fruit & Yogurt cereal. It is a burst of pure deliciousness every time you bite into one. Now if I could convince them to leave the flakes and fruit out..
3. Driving up to a stop light and turning your head to witness a monkey staring you in the face. And no, I do not mean an overly hair man. I mean a real true life monkey. Swinging in the drivers side, with a onesie on none the less. Try telling me this has happened to you too. You can’t. That’s why its so awesome.